How to Avoid Being Pigeonholed

Conversations over coffee usually starts with "So what do you do for a living?”

Several times in the last few weeks I’ve been asked "So, what do you do in New York?" This question has basically become synonymous with “Who are you?” “What’s your name?” “How do you make your money?” Those various questions do lend themselves to follow-up questions that can keep a conversation going. To be honest, I dislike the notion that I should answer these friendly inquiries in 30 seconds flat.

Business coaches are well-known to teach this type of (crap) pitch. It's a load of codswallop to think anyone can do this (please don't get me started, how can we learn the 'art of listening in 30 seconds?). CNN's Wolf Blitzer takes a minute to ask a question and then he'll say "you have 30 second to answer." How funny is that. Wolf always manages to make me laugh, and I am aware that opinions varies on this subject, and I'll just have to live with it. The great thing about writing a blog is I can let off steam like Andy Murray. I do pride myself of having an attention span of longer than 30 seconds.

British top player Andy Murray letting off steam on the tennis court

Pictured: A coach teaches the important Art of Listening

From left: Wolf Blitzer, CNN top anchorman, Hillary Clinton (I'll leave you to guess the name of the other politician)

As with all conversations I aways hope it leads into a polite conversation and to greater things, although responding to this common question sometimes make us feeling a little uncomfortable because all eyes and ears are upon us, a word of advice...be prepared with a stellar response, and you’ll impress those listening to your reply and take notice of your poise in the light of an (unintentionally) tough question. Beware! In New York (as in most places) people are quick to categorizes you and put you in a pigeon hole, okay for a pigeon but not if you are a peacock.

Me, a pigeon; how dare you? Most of us hate being pigeonholed, however life often dictates that will be at some point 

While living in New York, I'm always asked: Are you a Brit? “Indeed I am, how did you guess?” This is not a good answer... take my word on it. While taking a leaf out of Fox News Bill O'Reilly's this is a "No Spin Zone"

My no spin is that I need to find acceptable answers to a question like: So! What do you do? It's important  to stay within the ethic codes of good manners, I hate being stereotyped, but I understand how perception is a powerful influence on people.

Perception is a powerful influence, don't you agree?

When I find acceptable answers I will practice, practice and practice. I don't want to be unkind or unforgiven to anyone especially to those who want to be friendly towards me. Ha!

 From Left: Michael McConkey, Kahlil Blazia, Theophelis Cooper

Karim Rashid, industrial designer, and Michael S. McConkey, founder of the Top-Up-System

In future I am going to experiment with different answers and then try to take the lead with my own conversational tidbits and let people see that even a Brit in New York can build more meaningful relationships.

When it comes to American-British relationships, words sometimes get lost in translation

Friends and strangers reaching out to communicate over their busy work weeks.
Reaching out to others is always good for business

My favorite time of the day is when I reach out for my coffee. 

Some view New York as a city with cultural, and language barriers and use this fact as an excuse not to try to make things work when it comes to business. This can prove costly, specifically in the hospitality industry. I'm all for keeping our sense of humor when trying to reach out and understand one another. It's good for business! Time for my coffee break. Bye for now!

My Top Pet Peeves

Fast Food Restaurant: McDonald's West Thurrock (UK)

Today I'm reflecting on my pet peeves and my favorite types of pets. It's a bit of fun, and something light to read for sure. My thoughts might make you laugh, so don't take it too seriously because hopefully you will enjoy it. Feel free to leave me a comment; I certainly would like to know if you agree or disagree with me.

My Pets  Convenient fast food (yes, some of it is good) and they're open 24/7. Great.

Barnes & Noble Cafe

Barnes & Noble is one of my most frequented places in the city. That's right. I find the bookstore to be a real treat. And I'm not just talking about their cafes either. When I have the time, I find myself spending hours inside their Starbucks Cafe, catching up with my reading, occasionally studying, or just having a good old chat with the friendly person sitting next to my table. He or she is apt to ask “Are you a Brit?” Of which I'll replied “Yep! From head to toe.” What do you think? I must have a Brit sign on me somewhere, right?

Train ride of a lifetime. Can't wait to get on one of those again.

I am passionate about trains, particularly steam trains. Last year, my wife and I traveled from the Pennsylvania Station, New York, to North Carolina via Amtrak. It was a 16 hour journey which went through Washington D.C. and beyond. What's on my current wish-list? A train ride through the Rocky Mountains… Dream on, and don’t wake me up just yet.

Washington D.C.

Lost In Translation

Another pet peeve, if you can call it that, is the fun I've had with some of my American friends and a few acquaintances regarding my speaking British English, instead of American English. My friends here view this as an invasion to America.  Ha ha, bring it on, and let's give Manhattan back to the Queen! Here’s a few examples:

Do the washing up - British for "wash the dishes". My wife quickly picked that up.

Keen on/ keen to - a British way of saying "to like" or "be eager to"

Barman - bartender

Bit - as in "the best bit" of a film... Americans would usually say "part"

To book (e.g. a hotel) - Americans would say "reserve"

Called Joe - Americans say "named" Joe

To move house - a British way of saying "to move"

I've got the hump - work it out

On the 'rare' occasion that I visit Dunkin Donut and ask for a jam donut, the person behind the counter do not understand what I'm talking about. I have to clarify the fact that I'm asking for a jelly donut!

Britain is a very distinct country. Very different from the US (divided by a common language). Not better, not worse, just different. Jolly good show too, long live that difference. That means I will continue to maintain the integrity of the British nuance, subtle and supple version - not forgetting the original version - of the English language.

Pet peeves

58 Flavors of ice cream. Eat me!

Only in America … The first time I saw the sign 58 flavored ice creams …. it blew my mind away! To this day I still order vanilla flavored ice cream, and my American friends still pull my leg when I order vanilla. Come on they say "try something different." When hell freezes over, that's when.

Noah Webster 

American spelling!
Lexicographer, author and editor Noah Webster was born in Connecticut in 1758. He believed English spellings were needlessly complicated, and tried to simplify them. Here are some of the many changes that were adopted into American English. "Traveled", "defense" and "color", for example he also wanted to change "women" to "wimmen" and "tongue" to "tung", but neither was adopted - was he serious? Glad common sense prevailed.

New York Bus

Another of my major peeves is the New York MTA bus drivers. Is this the correct title for them? I often take the Q49, and Q33 buses, and most of the drivers think they are budding racing drivers, hard on the throttle, and breaks causing most strap hangers (my Brit friends can work this out) to swear under their breath because all the strap hangers are being thrown about and hanging on for dear life. Slow down sir!

A British queue

I was totality unprepared for the "American line" here in New York which made me miss and appreciate the British queue even more. Last time I was in Britain, to be in a queue meant an orderly line, and one moved in an orderly fashion. No pushing to be first or barging others out of the way. When I first arrived in New York I had 'little old dears holding their senior bus pass' knocking me off my feet to get on the bus before me, eventhough I was there first. My friends would laugh at me and say ‘you’re too polite’.

Feel good images

Riding, and Feeling good.