How to Avoid Being Pigeonholed

Conversations over coffee usually starts with "So what do you do for a living?”

Several times in the last few weeks I’ve been asked "So, what do you do in New York?" This question has basically become synonymous with “Who are you?” “What’s your name?” “How do you make your money?” Those various questions do lend themselves to follow-up questions that can keep a conversation going. To be honest, I dislike the notion that I should answer these friendly inquiries in 30 seconds flat.

Business coaches are well-known to teach this type of (crap) pitch. It's a load of codswallop to think anyone can do this (please don't get me started, how can we learn the 'art of listening in 30 seconds?). CNN's Wolf Blitzer takes a minute to ask a question and then he'll say "you have 30 second to answer." How funny is that. Wolf always manages to make me laugh, and I am aware that opinions varies on this subject, and I'll just have to live with it. The great thing about writing a blog is I can let off steam like Andy Murray. I do pride myself of having an attention span of longer than 30 seconds.

British top player Andy Murray letting off steam on the tennis court

Pictured: A coach teaches the important Art of Listening

From left: Wolf Blitzer, CNN top anchorman, Hillary Clinton (I'll leave you to guess the name of the other politician)

As with all conversations I aways hope it leads into a polite conversation and to greater things, although responding to this common question sometimes make us feeling a little uncomfortable because all eyes and ears are upon us, a word of advice...be prepared with a stellar response, and you’ll impress those listening to your reply and take notice of your poise in the light of an (unintentionally) tough question. Beware! In New York (as in most places) people are quick to categorizes you and put you in a pigeon hole, okay for a pigeon but not if you are a peacock.

Me, a pigeon; how dare you? Most of us hate being pigeonholed, however life often dictates that will be at some point 

While living in New York, I'm always asked: Are you a Brit? “Indeed I am, how did you guess?” This is not a good answer... take my word on it. While taking a leaf out of Fox News Bill O'Reilly's this is a "No Spin Zone"

My no spin is that I need to find acceptable answers to a question like: So! What do you do? It's important  to stay within the ethic codes of good manners, I hate being stereotyped, but I understand how perception is a powerful influence on people.

Perception is a powerful influence, don't you agree?

When I find acceptable answers I will practice, practice and practice. I don't want to be unkind or unforgiven to anyone especially to those who want to be friendly towards me. Ha!

 From Left: Michael McConkey, Kahlil Blazia, Theophelis Cooper

Karim Rashid, industrial designer, and Michael S. McConkey, founder of the Top-Up-System

In future I am going to experiment with different answers and then try to take the lead with my own conversational tidbits and let people see that even a Brit in New York can build more meaningful relationships.

When it comes to American-British relationships, words sometimes get lost in translation

Friends and strangers reaching out to communicate over their busy work weeks.
Reaching out to others is always good for business

My favorite time of the day is when I reach out for my coffee. 

Some view New York as a city with cultural, and language barriers and use this fact as an excuse not to try to make things work when it comes to business. This can prove costly, specifically in the hospitality industry. I'm all for keeping our sense of humor when trying to reach out and understand one another. It's good for business! Time for my coffee break. Bye for now!